“Never a cover, always a party” is the motto of San Francisco’s holiest of meat markets, the Holy Cow.* It is a sacred mating ground where you’ll find the shortest of skirts and the tightest of shirts, not only on women but also on men. It calls itself an over 21 bar and dance club, yet they are listed in some of the local club directories as an “Adult/Strip Club”. Though no professional strippers are employed there, at least none that I’ve seen, there are plenty of patrons ready and willing to peel off their clothes and perform.
I was introduced to the Holy Cow by my friend, Kate. We ventured there after Brit Pop Night at the Paradise Lounge. My immediate reaction when we stepped into the club was “Holy Cow!” Like the jungle, the place was filled with predators and wild beasts. As if the men could smell the scent or, in my case, detect the fear of new stock, their heads all turned towards us as we walked through the door. On stage was a fairly sizable woman in a denim miniskirt and black bustier top, which as far as wardrobe malfunction goes, was a total failure in covering the woman’s purple thong and meaty breasts. She was frantically jiggling and gyrating her hips and buttocks towards neighboring dancers, the dancers on the floor as well as the filthy wall. The rest of the women were dancing in similar fashion while the men stood along the perimeters eyeing their prey, ready to pounce on any willing victim.
As I watched these men and women perform their mating rituals, I started wondering what it is that these people look for when they come to the Holy Cow. Who do the women hope to seduce in their scantily-clad apparel? What are they looking for among the thick crowds of wanton and lustful men who don’t seem interested in anything other than a good time? What do the men look for as they stand in the perimeters watching their counterparts desperately flirt, amuse and entertain? Are both men and women simply looking for some fun, an opportunity to burn off some calories with dancing and late night sex? Or are they prospecting for potential suitors? Are they just scouting for their next prey or searching for the love of their lives?
*The Holy Cow is located in SoMa (South of Market). If you are curious and would like to check out the mating action yourself, here’s the link to their website: http://www.theholycow.com/. Have fun!
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