Nice Guy or Bad Boy?
“Nice guys finish last” seems to be the mantra when it comes to nice-guy-love-stories. Such tales are usually riddled with unappreciated, broken-hearted blokes who wear their hearts on their sleeves, giving it their all in every relationship, but being rejected or dumped time and time again for the simple reason that they are “too nice” or rather “too easy”.
“George” is one of these nice guys. I’ve known George almost all my life. He is a consummate gentleman – chivalrous, honest, reliable, trustworthy, loyal, generous, considerate, kind – and possesses a profound respect for women. A woman never needs to fear that he won’t call or follow through on a plan. And he won’t disappear after a few dates, or worst of all, feign romantic interest if there is none. When George is in love, he makes it known, regaling the girl with self-composed piano tunes inspired by his love or beautifully arranged mini-herb gardens used later to cook the most delicious meals or romantic late night outings under the stars.
Women love George for all his sweetness, humor and fun, but that love is usually of the platonic sort or eventually ends up as such. They look for George when their ego is in need of mending, especially after a heart break, as he is an ideal rebound lover. George has an ability to build women back up when they are at their lowest, making them feel whole, special and confident again, and unknowingly, readying them for the next brute that comes along. When the girl is ready to move on, George graciously suffers through all the cliché excuses and reasons like “I’m not ready to get serious,” “I’m too busy for a relationship right now,” “You deserve more”, etc. with the understanding of a saint. And just weeks or months later, he would discover that these women are already hitched to the next less congenial and not-so-nice guy, where those excuses and reasons given to George no longer apply, at least not for his successors.
As I reflect on George’s love life, contrasting it against the love lives of my female friends, I can’t help but wonder why women would forego nice guys like George, preferring the not-so-nice guys. On paper, George is the guy most women want, though in reality, we find ourselves chasing after the bad boys who inevitably disappoint by forgetting to call, disappearing for weeks on end or flaking on agreed-upon plans, leaving us in a perpetual state of confusion. So I must ask all of us bad-boy chasing women: Is the challenge and thrill of chasing such a man worth the frustration and disappointment?
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