Guys and Dolls
“For some people, finding a partner in life can be difficult. For others, it’s almost impossible.” (“Guys and Dolls”, Channel 5 UK documentary) Connecting with people, dating and relationships are undoubtedly difficult. With all the complex dating games and the growing yet competitive singles market which we have no choice but to play in, finding a love connection is often a contrived and convoluted process that only the strong can survive. So what happens to those who cannot survive or are too afraid to even enter the arena?
As Mother Teresa once said, “The most terrible poverty is loneliness and the feeling of being unloved.” To escape that poverty, some would hitch themselves with the first warm and willing body they find or hang on to whoever they have even if they are unhappy or unsure of their love for that person. Others would escape their loneliness with dogs, cats and other pets, caring for these pets like a parent would care for his or her human child. Then there are those who would go as far as renting a friend, spouse, relative or pet (as the Japanese do in Japan) for a few hours of companionship, love and attention. (“Rent-a-friend in Japan,” BBC News, 12-Jan-2009) As loneliness is an ever-increasing problem in today’s society, people are coming up with creative ways to fill that void. But how far will some people go to do so?
In the documentary, “Guys and Dolls”, we are introduced to four men who filled the loneliness void by finding companionship with “real dolls”. These dolls are life-size and made to look and feel like a real women – the skin, flesh, tongue and all – though they are generally of fantastic proportions that only exists in Barbie dolls. There are over 3,000 of these dolls across the world today providing doll owners with companionship, security, physical intimacy and even love that have eluded them for some reason in the real human world. These dolls are personified by their owners, loved and cared for like a real girlfriend, spouse or lover. In return, the doll owners are provided with a sense of certainty and security that humans are unable to provide. As Davekat from Michigan argues, “[The doll] is an anchor… because I know what to expect. With women, you don’t really get that.” And Gordon from Virginia agrees: “As good as the sex is with [the dolls], the peace of mind with them is even better.”
Most of us would rather remain lonely and single than entertain the idea of a doll. Finding companionship with an inanimate object seems clinically insane; the superb imaginative effort required to interact with a doll seems like some form of schizophrenia. But perhaps it is better than experiencing the loneliness that inevitably comes with living alone. As Everard, the British doll owner, points out, “[A doll] is better than going without any company at all.” Though a strange and unusual concept, to each their own.
- To watch the “Guys and Dolls” documentary, go to http://topdocumentaryfilms.com/guys-and-dolls/.
- To read more on “Rent-A-Friend”, go to http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/programmes/from_our_own_correspondent/7818140.stm.
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Entertaining article, thanks for your efforts.
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I need to say that overall I am really amazed with this blog.It is easy to notice that you are passionate on the subject of your writing. I wish I had your writing skill I will enjoy more updates and will be coming back
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A little self disclosure, I love coming to your blog while drinking my first cup of coffee before work!
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my feelings on this topic vary from you. its fine that you brought this up on your blog, it was a nice debatable go through.
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These men in the Guys and Dolls documentary are not representative of all doll owners. They don’t even come close. The media has sensationalized these individuals to make them appear that they have mental issues. A lot of truth in these interviews isn’t made public. The media only focuses on the negative aspects of doll ownership. Most doll owners get the dolls for sexual reasons and not for the lack of companionship. There are many photographers who own these dolls who use them as models and many married couples own dolls. Where I am heading with my argument is this: If a doll owner appears too normal then the media finds no interest in interviewing them because there is nothing to shock the audience with. The weirder they can make things appear the higher their ratings.
Oh and JM or Synthyours,whatever your name is,It is a bit noisome to lump all doll owners in the same catagorization as you and your buddy DaveCat.
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je suis fan aussi
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Hey Meg,
We all miss your postings. Looking forward to reading new ones. Keep up the great work on this blog.
Adeline
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Meg,
This got me thinking.. so much so that I wrote a blog post in response to your blog post LOL.. I had been dwelling in the back of my mind on several developments along these lines in modern love/sex/dating and this post was the perfect excuse to write down my thoughts. I have added you to my blogroll too.
http://coreytess.com/men-in-love-with-children/
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[...] Posted on 15. Jan, 2010 by Corey in General In reply to “Love In The 21st Century” post on Guys and Dolls Documentary [...]
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[...] idea that technosexuality is characterized as a sexuality of last resort by many journalists (and bloggers). Filed under: Uncategorized Leave a comment Comments (0) Trackbacks (0) ( subscribe to [...]
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Meg,
I’m not sure what your educational or professional background is, but I’m guessing it’s not psychology, counseling, or medicine. For those of us with graduate degrees in the aforementioned fields, it’s a bit noisome when laypeople purport that something is “clinically X” when it is in fact not even close.
“Clinical insanity” is something that many people use to refer to various psychoses, personality disorders, and certain forms of schizophrenia.
In the paranoid type of schizophrenia, voices, hallucinations, and delusions are common (although not all patients diagnosed with paranoid type hear voices). There’s a wide gulf between imaginative play and schizophrenia. There’s also some interesting research regarding hearing voices, which you can read about here.
Attachment to objects is a normal process which begins in infancy and (for a majority of people) persists throughout the lifespan. Much of the new research on romantic relationships, for example, examines them as a continuation of the caregiver bonding/attachment process begun in childhood.
That said, attachments to objects are usually much weaker than attachments to people, but when the object in question is anthropomorphic, things get a little fuzzy.
As an undergraduate, I had the opportunity to work with several captive Sumatran orangutans who displayed a remarkable attachment to velour rag dolls after the death of their mothers. I don’t know if any recent similar studies have been done with adult humans, but the hypothesis that humans will exhibit stronger attachments to anthropomorphic objects is neither new nor revolutionary.
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